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O.k., you’re standing there all alone at a party and in the far corner of the room your boyfriend is talking to some groovy chick. She’s coming onto him and much to your dismay, he doesn’t seem to be bragging about all how happy he is in his relationship with you. In fact, he even seems to be encouraging and indulging the shameless slattern’s disgusting, desperate, gall-filled pleas for sexual attention. So you a) burst into tears and run from the room b) go up to him and drape yourself around his neck so she can’t miss the fact that you and him are “together” or c) stand there and repeatedly tap his shoulder with your finger going “Um honey, honey, honey, I have to talk to you … until he finally is forced to turn around and scream in your face “WHAT!”

Actually, none of the above are the right answers. Unfortunately, the minute you display jealousy, you convey neediness and insecurity and according to Jungian psychiatrist William Rock Penfield, people of both sexes find this extremely unattractive in a partner. What they really find attractive is something called “the unattainable.” That is why your boyfriend is flirting with the gorgeous interloper in the first place. He knows he belongs to you and therefore she becomes attractive because she is unattainable. Another reason we flip out, and become jealous is because we know we’ve already been “attained”. The person knows he already “has you” so there is nothing to chase… no thrill to the hunt… the cupid’s arrow has already met its mark and now you are about as sexually exciting as a carcass thrown in a burlap sack.

No,the best thing for you to do in such a situation, is to mirror his behaviour. Make yourself unattainable. Replace thoughts like “No, no, no ….please don’t do this to me.” and ” Please, please. Stop. Stop flirting with him!” to “Oh so you think you have this relationship in the bag do you…. while here’s me brushing my breasts up against your best friend’s arm and here’s me batting my eyelashes at that guy you hate and here’s me smiling and waving at you like nothing’s wrong … nothing at all!” Make like you’re the wild unpredicatable one –like what he’s doing doesn’t matter –like you could leave this party at any minute with his successor. Before you know it, he’ll be the one casting you the anxious looks, as you dirty dance with the cute guy you just met near the fridge. If he doesn’t, maybe you should consider leaving the party with the new guy. Or girl.

Because this mirroring trick works on both sexes. What doesn’t work is begging, pleading, crying and trying to blackmail the person into never doing it again, later, when you get home in bed. Who wants to be with a needy, whiny jealous person. What a turnoff!

Samantha Steven’s articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha’s books about metaphysics click here
http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=110
You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com

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Sometimes, after a relationship has ended, many of us have problems letting go. A lot of my clients often complain of feeling haunted or even possessed by the dearly departed (who probably isn’t even thinking of you at all and is busy happily running away with his or her new partner.) It’s like the person has left an indelible imprint upon your heart and many of us feel that we can’t go on until the ex returns. The energy of the ex might be manifesting itself in all sorts of ways — in what you perceive to be little omens or reminders that occur in every day life (such as a phrase or song lyric) or even as a visitor in your dreams.

There are all kinds of cures for this phenomenon, (everything from burning bundles of sage to clear the room of the ex’s vibe to throwing out every single reminder of him or her, including the bed.) Yet before you ditch the Sealy Posturepedic, I suggest you try this little exercise called “Cutting The Cord.”

The idea behind this is that whenever we connect to someone we connect to him or her at the point of our solar plexus, the area just below your diaphragm. When we first meet someone and fall in love, we spend a lot of time building up this energy which lightworkers say looks like a rope of light that connects two people. However, even after one person disappears, the rope can still remain. Often, the person who is left behind spends a lot of time fortifying that rope with his or her own psychic energy in an attempt to bring the person back. The ex can compare to a psychic vampire, who is gleefully sucking back the energy that the dumped person is sending them. It doesn’t even matter if you are sending them bad thoughts or resentment. That energy is often translated to them in the purest form of astral energy — and they use it to transmute and feed their new relationship. So in order to prevent yourself being sucked dry by the psychic vampire, oops I mean the ex, I suggest you try this: Lie down on the bed, breathe deeply and become as relaxed as you can. Now picture the other person and the cord of light that you created when you thought the both of you would be connected for all eternity. Visualize that cord as best you can and examine it.

How thick is it? What colour is it? What is it made of? Now choose your weapon. What will you use to cut this cord? Do you need a knife or is the connection so strong that it can be broken only by hacking at it with a machete? If a machete doesn’t work, try a buzz saw. My favourite is a huge pair of golden scissors. Now, in your mind’s eye, snip, hack chop, sever … do whatever you have to do to cut the cord. Picture the other person floating away from you like a helium balloon let loose in the sky … and smile and wave “bye bye!” Oddly, one of the side benefits (or drawbacks depending on how you look at it) is that the other person senses the detachment. Like a greedy psychic vampire, they will come back to see where their source of energy has gone. So not only does this exercise your astral health, but it often brings the ex back. That is, if you even want them back at all.

Samantha Steven’s articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha’s books about metaphysics click here
http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=110
You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com

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Many of us have had a distinctive experience of having met someone for the first time, someone with whom we feel we are incontrovertibly connected deep within our souls. We may believe this new person is our soul mate or our twin soul. But what are our soul mates or twin spirits really? Can we truly be linked to another spirit and destined to meet one another in many different incarnations? Were we somehow made for one another by a divine creator who provides for all of us someone special with whom we may share our lives?

Like many spiritual beliefs, the concepts of twin spirits or soul mates are predicated upon deep spiritual experiences for which there are really no adequate words. We use metaphors to try to describe such experiences until the experiences become so commonplace that new words evolve to more accurately describe our experiences or the metaphors stick like glue and we come to accept the metaphor as a literal description when in fact it may still fall short of being a valid description of our experience.

While it is undeniably true that many of us have experiences in which we recognize another soul with whom we are intimately connected in some inexplicable way, perhaps we should examine the metaphors we use to describe these experiences to shed some light on what may really be going on. Metaphors are used to apply past experiences which we understand to new experiences which we have no proper concepts for. Without clearly understood concepts we can have no words which accurately describe our new experiences which is why we must resort to metaphors. But a metaphor is only an approximate likeness between two experiences which will usually accurately describe our familiar experience but which will provide only a reasonably close ‘as-if’ description of our new experience.

So when we meet someone with whom we feel we share a common past or destiny we search for a way to explain this feeling and our culture has developed the concepts of soul mates and twin spirits to accommodate our need for words to describe how we feel.

The metaphors of soul mates and twin spirits come from our real experiences with having partners in life, our mates, or having known someone with a twin, a biological condition. Both indicate a degree of relatedness that is above and beyond the way we appear to be related to most other people in our lives and that is the essence of what we are trying to express when we find someone with whom we communicate on a very deep level of our souls.

Neither marriage nor twins may have any real meaning in regard to our spirits, so the popular concepts of soul mates and twin spirits may be off the mark in the context of the spiritual reality of our souls. We may have wonderful people in our lives with whom we are deeply connected whom we may have a great affinity for in the context of our spiritual lives beyond the limits of our incarnations, but they may not be our twins or mates, but something other for which we have not yet found adequate words to accurately describe these very special relationships.

Marriage is a societal convention, mates are temporary phenomena, the lives of our souls in the spirit world may have vastly different social conventions and we may have many mates all of whom are special to us each in their own way but none of whom we may be mated to or married to in any sense that is either permanent or exclusive of someone else.

Likewise, this special person with whom we share an incredibly intimate bond may not be related to us in the manner of a twin. Our spirits seem unlikely to have grown from a single egg and our spirits all share the same womb from which they were born so we cannot be twins in the fraternal sense in any manner that may be considered special since in the ultimate sense we must then all be twins to one another including every other spirit in creation.

However, there are considerations which may make the concepts of soul mates and spiritual twins valid metaphors for our experiences of being thoroughly connected with another person’s soul.
Perhaps our souls have somehow divided themselves and our souls have thereby created an independent twin or a soul mate. This is one explanation I can offer which would make soul mates or twin spirits a reasonably valid metaphor for the experience of meeting a very special person. When I examine the beginning of creation at the time our souls are created I do not see any of us in the roles of twins or mates. So if soul mates or twin spirits truly exist then perhaps they must come much later. If they did come later then that would make them a different order of being from what I would call our primary souls; those infinite sparks cast forth in the first moment of creation. Each of our primary souls is like a hologram such that every one of us contains every one of us within ourselves. If we were to become divided and become two separate specially related souls we might then be twin spirits, but we would no longer be the primary soul from which we originally came, even though each of the souls we have become has its origin in a pre-existing undivided state of our soul.

Another possibility would be that twin spirits or soul mates may simply have shared many experiences together over many different incarnations or have always remained close to one another throughout most of their experiences in the spiritual world of our souls.

Soul mates are sometimes described as being paired opposites, however opposites is a weak term to describe this state of connectedness since it appears to preclude areas where two ’soul mates’ may be very much alike.

The philosophy of twin spirits or soul mates is most often predicated upon a belief that god provided for every one of us a perfect mate. But then why is finding that perfect mate so difficult? Has god created our perfect mate only to challenge us to find them? I doubt that it is like that, god does not seem perverse to me.

I think we all began in an identical state or condition and that we have then evolved into what we will become. I think the concept of twin spirits or soul mates is too limiting in regard to the potential scope of our love, and that we are meant to love everyone and are not meant to cling to only one special soul throughout eternity.

Of course I may be mistaken, these are only my thoughts of the moment and my position may change as I consider these questions more carefully over time.

One issue I have with the concepts of soul mates and spiritual twins is that they are predicated upon the cognitive process of duality and ultimately duality is an illusion imposed upon us by our limited abilities to think clearly. Again, I may be mistaken, but I do not think that duality applies to who we are as spirits in the most primal sense of our being. Duality appears to be only a tool for picking apart our experiences so that our conscious minds can discover useful terms with which to describe our experiences.

Regardless of the validity of the metaphors we use to describe the sweet experiences we have of meeting someone with whom we may feel we have shared eternity, many of us most definitely connect in a very unique and intimate manner with some very special person in our lives. Thos people with whom we click in this extraordinary manner often become pivotal people in transforming our lives for the better so that we help one another to grow and to evolve as more loving, nurturing and compassionate human beings.

If you are lucky enough to believe you have found your soul mate or a spiritual twin you then should go for broke. The person whom you have found may indeed reflect that belief in your deep union and prove to be a loving partner or a deeply cherished friend well worth knowing and loving and keeping close to you in your present incarnation on earth.

BIO: Fledgling author Greg Gourdian has worked with the general public as a psychic reader for a little over four years from 1981 to 1986. Much of his written work is channeled, although he will admit that he has no idea who many of the sources for his channeled work may be. He has many strange tales to tell regarding his spiritual journey and he attempts to tell his tales in a humorous or entertaining manner. While not an accredited teacher, Greg has taught classes in psychology, sociology, metaphysics and parapsychology.

Visit Greg’s blog at http://tangledintime.blogspot.com/

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